His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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