I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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