Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize