At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
