I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
