Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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