she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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