I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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