Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
