All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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