Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
