While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
