fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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