and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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