wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There r osticjed everywhere
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
