It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
