ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
