im about as happy as oj after his trial
We named our party play list daddy issues
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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