i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's rum buckets o'clock
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
