No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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