Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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