when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
