Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
