And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
