I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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