She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
