Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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