He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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