The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
