if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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