Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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