I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
