if you like me you must not know who I am
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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