so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
