the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
