PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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