I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
