Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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