what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize