I like my sex mixed with concussions.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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