The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
