two words: eviction party
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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