We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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