Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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