New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I need to sanitize my soul.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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