return my video game
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
