Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
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