rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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