one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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