So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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