THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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