He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
