Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
