u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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