Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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